Tentang kehilangan

Hilang.
Perit.
Tambah tambah lagi kalau paling disayangi.
Tapi, bukan kah Allah dah pesan.
Tak ada yang kekal di bumi.
Tapi, hilang itu tetap perit.

Ibu yang amat baik.
Terima aku dalam kelompok nya.
Tak pernah layan aku bak orang luar.
Tak pernah marah.

2 tahun saja sempat aku tumpang kasih die.
Terima kasih mak.
Al fatihah insyaallah sentiasa ada untuk mak.
Semoga aku tak lupa.
Semoga mak tenang dan baik kat sana.

Terlalu banyak kebaikan sampai tak terkata.
Rindu mak.
Rindu sangat.

Allah. Terima kasih.
Bagi aku mak yang baik.

28 sept 2012. Hari terakhir mak kat dunia.
Mak... Hilang kami keberkatan dunia.

My breastfeed journey

breastfeed. sampai sekarang, alhamdulillah, imani dah nak masuk 11 bulan, masih lagi excited dan kuat untuk terus breastfeed. walaupun tak exclusive dah. 

why i choose breastfeed?

i have a roller coaster pregnancy term. and since 7 months, doctor expected that i will delivered even earlier than EDD. yes, my first baby premmy. 

sebelum deliver tu, i did attend seminar penyusuan susu ibu by KKM. my aunti nurse, so, literally i did know the benefit since kecik la kebaikan susu ibu ni. and my mum breast feed me until 2 years. so, lagi lah excited to go through that journey. 

semasa seminar tu, die ade mention ayat die maksud lebih kurang camni la

susu ibu memang memenuhi keperluan bayi itu. Allah dah cipta yang terbaik untuk bayi tu. Kalay bayi pramatang, susu yang terhasil oleh ibu itu untuk bati pramatang. takde on store yang boleh tanding' 

sebab ayat ini la.....aku start breastfeed. even amat susah mula mula. seriously. 

mu lil angel premmy...so i decided. yes, want to fully breastfeed. sebab aku tahu, takde susu lain yang lagi berkhasiat dari susu ibu. i did read a lot. a lot of reading material. even tanye orang sane sini. alhamdulillah, my family support me all along the way. 

i was jobless when i know i got preggy, so mase confinement, whenever i want to express milk, mama memang marah la. die tak nak aku kasik even botol pun sebab die cakap aku tak kerja pun. 

by that time memang la tak kerja, tapi imani memang sedikit cranky bila direct feeding sebab mase dekat nursery hospital, die minum gune cup. so, die memang kurang sabar mase mula mula direct breastfeed. 

so, memang agak tertekan la time tu kan. aku nak express milk nak buat stok, mama plak tak kasik. 

husband plak, sibuk kerja. mase tu rase cam nak give up la breast feed ni, protest punye pasal. 

then my aunti support me, die cakap its ok. express, direct or bottle it doesnt matter. as long as its breast milk. aku memang happy la. tak lame pun pakai botol. just nak sesuaikan imani with suction jek. pastu ok la, tak sampai seminggu pun. the she love breast more. hehehe. mummy pun suke la sebab imani tak cranky dah time menyusu. senang nak susukan. 

and my mom tak berapa gemar stored breast milk. sampai basi camtu je kot. die suh kasik yg fresh. yes, die tak tau kot. next time, insyaAllah akan explain even deeper. so that, i got her by my side. 

my family memang support gile gile la breast milk ni. and mama sendiri suruh susu kan imani sampai 2 tahun. on the other hand, since imani 3 months, my in laws suruh campur susu. 

well, BM menang cepat hadam, 2 jam je imani memang akan susu balik. so, memang ramai la yang suruh gune FM. seriously, thats the beauty of BM. die tak hard on digestion. alhamdulillah, imani takde la meragam sakit perut ke ape ke. she is very nice lil girl. tak banyak karenah pn. cume nak susu je 2 jam sekali. 

mase ni, hangin tak tau nak cakap ape la kan. tapi takde la hangin kat dorang. just stress je la. 

imani 3 months, ive got new job. sebab dalam pantang tak sediakan stok cukup cukup, memang agak merana la stok. stok susu memang cukup cukup makan je la. bola ade orang discourage kite lagi, lagi la stress.... tapi tu la, tak salah kan dorang la. sebab my sister in law memang kasik FM since birth. well, we got our own preferences. and i choose breastmilk. tp terpaksa gak bila daily stok merudum sebab stress kot tempat kerja. by 5 months, mama terpaksa bekalkan FM on office hour. yes, dengan berat hati sangat sangat. i did go 4th time to choose the right milk for her. but i cant found one. and i stare blankly almost 1 hours everytime i go there. seriously. it is not an easy decision to feed her FM. 

I do believe, Allah dah buat yang terbaik. pilih yang semulajadi dahulu. if cant go through with it, then take the alternative ways. even reluctantly i have to choose FM for her. 

so, i am really looking for weekends or holidays. so that i can breast feed her all day. yes. sampai sekarang pun. memang susah la skit. nak susu, kene carik fitting room. well, kat kemaman and kuantan ni, takde feeding room. memang fitting room la jawab nye. or surau. or dalam kereta. 

even payah, i know i give her the best. 

semoga imani jadi anak solehah. anak yang berjasa untuk mama n papa. dan agama. 

so, hopefully, i can breastfeed her until 2. then we think how to go through weaning process. buat masa ini, aku bahagia dengan ini. 

My lil baby turns 10 months

Happy 10th month birthday my lil baby.
Cepatnye la masa berlalu.

Sebab imani dah 10 bulan, supposed to be baru 9 bulan. Hehehe. Cepat dak ni nak kuar tengok dunia.

Izz sekarang sangat la aktif. Tak terkata. Amat marah kalau di dukung. Nak lepas bebas. Nak meneroka seluas alam. And she skips crawl and trus stand up dan meniti.

And die paling tak suke kalau duduk. Sebab die tak boleh moves around. Yes, she can sit properly but she just restless to sit still. Such a great baby.

Doesnt give me time to rest. Pheeww.
Its exhausting in a great way.

Dan sekarang, takleh langsung ternampak kelibat mama. Memang nak ikut la. Ke dapur pun nak ikut. Agak payah la mama nak buat kerje. Un less she is sleeping.

Alhamdulillah. Imani grows tremendously. Eventhough tak cukup bulan kan.

10 bulan, and imani masih lagi breastfeeding bila ade mama. Time dengan pengasuh jek guna formula milk. Its a very hurtful inside to give her formula at start but i cant stand to let her starving.

So baby, semoga jadi anak solehah mama n papa dunia dan akhirat.

Happy 9 months birthday my lil princess

Yup. Update lapan bulan takde since mama got stuck with work sampailan gi monthly check up pun lambat. Mingu lepas baru gi.

Imani dah 7.6 kgs kot... Patut la berat sangat time dukung bile nak shopping. But now, mama tak yah dukung dah. Sebab mama boleh duduk dalam 'stroller'. Ok. Aku tak tau name ape mende alah ni. Aku panggil stroller pasar raya je la.

Imani memang restless kalau duduk lama dalam stroller die. Maybe sebab pandangan quite limited. So, die prefer berdukung. Sebab dapat tgk ramai orang. And sebab imani anak mama yang membesar bagai juara, balil shopping jek memang sakit la pinggang jawab nye.

Well, i guess. Its normal la kan. Kalau takde si dak tecik ni, bosan gile kot.

Owh my princess. I do heart you so much. And i know she knows. Cause she loves to manja manja with me. Especially when she knows i am exhausted. Port kesukaan imani tentunya, bawah ketiak mama.

Owh baby. Without u n papa, my life will definitely empty. I love u both.


Hugs n kisses,
Mama

4th june 2012

This coming 4th june 2012 should be double celebration for us.
Imani's 7 months n our anniversary.

But somehow, dear hubby have to go to work and only able seeing us on the next week. Which is 13th june 2012.

So, nothing much for this coming 2nd anniversary celebration. Just chilling with family members.

Yes, this past 2 years, alhamdulillah. We blessed with great life. The new addition to our lil family. Imani. Our precious lil girl.

Alhamdulillah.
A very good life for us.
We dream a house, we got a home instead.

And counting more more years to spend with u my dear hubby :)

I love u :) soo mucchhh.

Love of my life. What a perfect life. Alhamdulillah.

Membaca tiang ilmu

Bacalah.

Yes. I love books.
Abd i just love knowledge.
When u r knowledgable, u just feel great within.

Even mak sedare aku sendiri penah cakap, nampak je rock, mengaji jangan tinggal.
But currently, aku dah jarang mengaji.
Silap diri sendiri.
Leka. Lagha.

Need to be improved.

Sejak ada imani dalam hidup aku.
Life being very hectic. Kalo membaca pun, kat opis jek.
Klo dah balik rumah, jangan harap.
She needs my attention.
And yes, she is my priority.

So, i bought this book. Online. Kino.
Sebab dah carik kat MPH mesra mall. Takde. Its been awhile actually aiming for this book.

Nobel prize OK. Plus, aku memang suke Orhan Pamuk ni.

Hopefully i can khatam this book within this week.

Excited nak baca. Wooohooo

My lil princess

Papa n mama call u pwincess

U r so adorable.

I might be bias. But i think she is the most beautiful creature in the world.

Well, all mommy felt d same way towards theirs baby. Right?

Imani 6 months update

Imani dah pandai menuarap. Pantang letak bawah. Memang bergolek la die kat situ. Pastu dah pandai pusing pusing dan mengengsot sikit sikit.

Sekarang, memang dah kenal orang. Nak nak lagi mama die. Kalau nangis memang cari mama.

Sekarang dah pandai nak mengambil barang and hold barang masuk mulut.

Berat 6.6kg. Tinggi 75cm.

Anak dara saya tinggi. Cam papa die. Nanti mama mesti nampak comel :)

Dah pandai berpaling bila orang panggil nama. Dan jerit kuat kuat bila kene tinggal sorang sorang.

Alhamdulillah.
Development imani sangat baik.

One more thing, sekarang lasak.
Kalau dukung, memang tak reti la duduk diam.

Well, that my imani.

Slowpoke. Imani 5 months update

Lambat betul mama update.
So, 5 bulan. Now 6.2kgs.
Agak payah nak timbang sebab suke gerak gerak. Yes. Itula die. Dak tecik imani.

Boleh tampung berat badan. Boleh roll over. Suke makan tangan. Suke main kain. Suke selak baju gak.

Sekarang dah pandai. Klo nak nenen, die tarik baju area nenen.

Itu la cik imani kita di usia 5 bulan.
Nak photoshoot la mummy excited. Hehehe

Imani 4 months

Yes, 4 mnth. CA (corrected age) 3 mnths.

Nape premmie ade CA? Sebab premmie deliver awal. Most of premmie develop a lil bit slow so that they have to refer to their CA.

Mama mule mule cuak gak. Tengok anak orang lain dah start meniarap semua. Imani malu malu lagi. Then, ask pead. Mule mule aritu memang dah di bagitau. Tapi, tau la mummy ni kan. Semua nak risau.

Typical mom.

So, as age 4 month, development imani quite nice. Eventhough berat naik 500g je, she keeping up quite well. Semua development than should be she conquer, she done it.

Good job baby.

Yes. Chubby nye dah kurang. Sebab die struggling ngn bottle feeding. Lately baru ok. Hopefully next month lagi byk naik berat.

Anak mama jangan sakit sakit tau. :)
Doa mama sentiasa untuk imani.

Back to work

Next week, lepas dekat setahun tak kerja, kembali bekerja.

Perasaan??? Bercampur baur

Especially nak tinggal imani dengan pengasuh

No more morning bath with iman.
Suke sangat mandikan iman sebab die sangat suke bath time. Tak nangis2.

Dan die talde gaduh gaduh nak nangis kalonak siapkan lepas mandi.

Gonna miss that moment.

Sedih :(

Pastu, rindu die sembang sembang.
Actually mama die jek duk pot pet pot pet. Iman just buat cooing sound. Tapi suke sangat. Cam die respond to everything that i am saying. Owwh. :(

Then, rindu nak peluk die all the time.
Yess. Aku suke sangat dukung n peluk die. Even kadang kadang time die tido pun aku angkat.

And of coz, direct feed only at night :(
Gonna miss this alot coz iman kinda hug me back when she is bf.

Owh.
Those moments.

How could i go to work peacefully?

Plus, she still refused bottle feeding.

Owh owh owh.

Hopefully, esok she will be ok.

Esok try hantar babysitter.
At least kalo die tak nak botol, boleh kasik spoon. Hopefully die ok jek bottle feeding ngn bs nanti.

Iman, mama will miss u. A lot.

3 months update

Yeay! Dah 5.1 kg. Mama pun tak tau nape nurse set hari ni. Maybe sbb 4/2 nanti cuti kot.

So, went well.

Kaki cukup tegak nak tampung berat badan.
Mata dah boleh ikut objek menarik.
Alhamdulillah.

Just kepala jek tak tegak sangat. Sebab dak tecik ni memang tak suke tummy time. Haish.

And injection. Nangis sekuat hati.
Pas upah susu, tido dengan aman.
Sebab lemang die tengah ngantuk pun.

Hopefully tak demam la my lil angel k.

New gear

Mummy yang excited nak try. Imani ngantuk :)

Hahahaha.

Luckily she loves bumbo seat

Penat caeik yang preloved. At last dapat

Yeay