ak br blik lab ni..pnt gile..badan penat,mate mengantuk tp takle tido sbb dah lps asar..
kan x baik tdo pas asar...mewarisi kegilaan...
so,ak pun menghadap r blog aku ni...
takde pape pn nk tulis sbnrnyer..tp nk memerangi prasaan mengantuk ak...
cuaca kat luar cm mendung2..ak br berangan nk g pasar mlm...nmpk gaye nyer x jd r..kene kuar mkn mlm ni...trase mls gile nk kuar...dah 1 hr duk menghadap shimadzu,capillary rheometer...
ni adalah salah satu teknik nk study reology...
de byk jenis rheometer..ade jenis cone,capillary, plate....
3 jenis je kot..seingt aku...tp kitorg gune capillary...
nape ek???ak pn x tau nape..unt elak berebut gune mesin kot...well,de 48 org 1 course aku...klo sume gune mende same,nnt duk queue jek...

ak tgh lagu maroon 5....nothng last forever....
bez gile lagu ni..ak suke sgt2...ak try upload die nyer video clip tp fail plak...xpe ...cari je kat you tube...klo korg rs nk tgk r...
ak ske part ni....

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you, but I'm letting go
It may not last, but I don't know
I just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word, we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest, babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
Never let it fall apart
Strangely, I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

But we have not hit the ground
Doesn't mean we're not still falling, oh
I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame
I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word, we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever but be honest, babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way

[ bold part is smthng dat suits my situation...]

bowling tournament

berlangsungnyer Piala Dr Azhar which is tournament bowling inter fac...
mule2 cm mls nk g,pas2 sbb x cukup kete,ak tpakse gak g...
org g men boling,ak g men kat arked game...
lepaskan gian men basket smpai lenguh abih lenagan ak...huhuhu
actualy,having fun is on of d bez therapy klo korg rs cm blur...
ak spatutnye g lab pg ni tp bgn dah kul 10...cm mls plak nk g mandi,so golek2.ptg kang r g lab..heheheeh.kemalasan yg tak penah abih...
ok..kite bcakap psl smlm...de r mamat ni nk jmpe ak smlm,ak ckp r,ak de kt megamall tu men boling...klo nk jmpe,g sane r...ak mls nk kuar..pas2 mamat ni g r..kebetulan ms tu ak kene replace membe ak men....so,die duk tcongok la kat c2..ak plak blah bodo jek...
dah tu,dah byk kali ak ckp im x ready 4 any relationship yet,tu pn x phm2...
ak mmg kurang senang ngn org yg ske push around ni...
so,ak biar kan la die tcongok smpai die call ak 3 kali n ak x angkt...cian gak mamat tu...tp nk wat cmne,ak de game..sori la ek...x sengaje pn...

pas2,dak2 ni plak kene kan ak ngn sorg student pHd ni...siot tul r....dah r lane sblh ak jek..
de r skali skale ak tgk die cam usha2 ak...ak pn mmg pndai gile klo nk sakit kan ati org..time die tgh usha2 ak tu,ak g tarik baju amid...hahahah
bukn tarik yg gns2,tarik yg manje2...
terlopong die tgk...hahahahahaha
ak pn tsenyum puas...hahahaahha
padan muke ko...sape suh tgk ak...kan ak dah set up a scene...

actualy kan,ak rs ka suke kat sorg mamat ni..
tp mslh nye ak takut nk bgtau feelng ak..sbb perkara2 di atas..ak sentiasa merejek org..klo nnt die plak wat mende same...mak ai...xnk la ak..
so,skrg ni ak rs,juz let him go...
x sanggup rs nyer kene rejek.....biar r ak je tau ak suke die....
so,dgn harapan,die pn feel d same n approach me 1st....
_i_iS_e_ = teke2..ni name die...
hehehehehe......

single???

dah lame aku tak update blog aku ni kan...
arini aku trase nk tulis smthng sbb nye ms break btwn class td,member ak de tanye soklan bez kat aku....soalan nye adalah
"bez x jadi single???"
well,4 sm1 who knows me 4 years,they can tell,i will alwiz have someone there 4 me..
klo bukn as a special bf,at lez, sm1 close enuf...ahaks...
but recently,its a month now,iv been totally single n i dun hv any scandal.....
impress ???yeah...i m..tkejut gak....
actualy,untuk mjawab soalan tersebut...byk aspek kene tgk...
ape yg aku blaja la kan drpd ape aku tgk ngn ape yg aku hadapi....
d 1st thing,r u ready???in wut ever situation,dats d point...r u ready 2 change or not...
actualy,4 lettng go my previous rltnship is quite hard...
ak dah try cam2 sampai membe2 ak ckp,ak dah turunkn ego aku serendah2 nyer...
its been a month ak wat cam2...ms die kt laut,ak anta emel,anta msg thru fs...
ms die blik,i keep on callng him tp die x nk angkt...but i never gv up...
korg byk kan lah,sebulan ak wat cm2....
ak yg slame ni mmg tkenal ngn degil aku,sanggup wat perkara bodoh sprti tuh....
skrg ni rs cam klaka plak...
i thnk,i juz need a trigger to let it go...
n 2 minggu yg lps,i found d trigger...n amazingly,sng gile ak lupe...
its like juz fade away frm me....
ntah r....dats d strange thng bout feelngs...
u cn nvr expect wut u capable of...
i used to thnk he is sm1...d 1 i need...but now,i thnk i m happier like diz....

ak takut nk let go sbb ak takut pasni ak x jmpe org like him...of coz i wont...ppl is unique in their own ways...n ape yg menariknyer,aftr i let him go,totally frm my heart,i cn c how wonderful life is....bunyi cm plik kan...i mean,do evrythng on ur own.x yah bgtau kat die nk g mn,ngn sape,watpe,n etc.....
rs cm bez gile....n u knw wut,i cn handle myself bettter by my own...
i dun need any1 2 tell me wut to do...i cn do it on my own..
dats how i learn dat being single is x a bad thng at all...

tambahan plak,ak tgh busy gile ngn aku nye projek yg tak ciap2 lagi ni...lagi la aku x heran klo xde pakwe pn...n ak pn rs die pn cam2..x heran pn klo ak xde..
so,its better this way.....
smtimes,we nvr knw wut is best for us...

i knw aftr i grad,its hard 4 me 2 find a guy but i do have faith in God. i knw n i believe there is sm1 4me..who will suits me well...who can accept me d way i m n of coz, i also can accept him d way he is...
honestly,ak x pnh jmpe pn org laki cam2..sm1 yg aku x kisah ngn kekurangna die n die pn x kisah ngn kekurangan aku...

aku juz ingin kan kisah cinta yang biase..tak yah grand2...
die bley tgk kekurangn ak sbgai kelebihan aku,n kelebihan aku membuatkn die btuah bsame aku...n aku pun tgk die camtu..
payah untuk menerima kekurangna org....sbb tu ak x pnh percaya pn bl de org ckp dorg ske kat aku...org ckp,org pmpn de sixth sense,,,ye kot,sbb ms mule2 ak ngn pakwe2 ak dulu,ak dah rs mende ni xkan lame...tp aku buat cm2 try nk menghalang perkara seperti break up ni terjadi,tp jadi gak..so,btl la instinct ak dulu...
so,pasni,ak akan percaya instinct aku...
huhuhuuh...smtms we denying our own self n askng ppl for helps...
smtimes it do work..but smtms,we better do it by our own....
k la...ak dah pnt..kul 8 ni nk kene g lab plak....
lab lab lab lab lab lalallallaa

~another tot~

its been awhile since i wrote down smthng in here
laz weekend i was attended a career course which is organized by
EXPEN(educationaal exhibition of usm)
during the entire course, i realize how i change.
i used 2 b very active in course like that.i dare 2 speak out my mind or even throw out questions. but now,there is smthng stoppng me. i ct evn raised up my own hand when i knw d answers...how stupid i turn 2 b..afreaid of smthng i believe.i dun wan 2 blame anyone, but its myself.before i was into sester, i m x like dat.im vry active in class or discussion.i will raise my hands 2 gv any answer,2 ask questns in my head..i dare 2 do all dat.but after smthng dat is ridiculous happen in sester,iv bcame more passive in discussion.
in sester,when u asks 2 many question ppl will cll u "capub"...hey..wuts wrong if i dun understand???n do u care bout my understanding of things???
when i was back in sester, when u r sell urself 2 get wut u wan,they call u "gk"
hello.......if u r so jealous coz sm1 is dat confident wit herself, dun cll them names...its childish n so damn annoying...
in real live,if u wan dat job,u hv 2 sell urself.u hv 2 show every1 dat u r d 1 they need...if u fail 2 do so,u r lost pal...
i dun thnk i will send my kids to boarding school...i think,if i juz stay at my previous school,il b more confident...
i dun try 2 blame d system,but d culture there...
in my previous school,i cn b anythng i wana b...teachers r all great..im x saying dat teachers there r bad but thr is a big gap n we dun evn closed,xcept 4 a lil amount of teacher....
in my batch,we cnt speak out my mind...if i don like u n i said i hate u,then u will be banned...dat is so damn stupid...
dat is juz an example...girls there shud b ayu2 type...if u r out spoken then u r end up like me...i hv 2 years like hell thr....yesss...i tried 2 move out but my parents insisted me 2 stay...
at sester,i knw frens so-called backstabber....shit...
i appreciate frenshp so much coz i realy value my frens...
since that,its hard 2 rebuild my believe in ppl name frens...
4 years i had this bad feeling bout frens..when sm1 tryng 2 b fren wit me,i won say no but i will alwiz had my distance....smtms its burden me a lot coz i do need sm1 when i was so depressed...i hv no one 2 let it out.....
i knw,complaining won change a thng, but at lez,i hv a place whr i cn speak out my mind....n i dun care if any1 read this coz they nvr knows me...